If you’re reading this today, it’s because I have decided to start posting to my blog and making my little website and affirmations known to the world (and by "the world", I mean to the approximately dozen of you who are reading this!).
So, Welcome and Woohoo!
It’s been quite a journey to get to this point since I first started writing these affirmations for myself in 2019. I wanted to share a part of it with you that I think you might be able to relate to …
Asking the universe for signs …
and then paying attention to them!
THE BACK STORY
Ok, so I should start by mentioning that I have a slight problem with self-esteem. This means that, in order for me to feel confident about doing something,
1. Every single fucking thing has to be aligned perfectly AND
2. I have to be perfect in every way AND
3. Everyone in the universe has to agree that what I’m doing is okay.
Sadly, I’m only slightly exaggerating for effect here.
I started writing these affirmations for myself (for more details why, click HERE), and, after they started helping me, I got this inner desire to share them to see if they’d help others. Which is pretty much what happens when I learn something cool - I really want to share it with people.
I’m like a proselytizing zealot in that way … um … except for the part about being zealous … or feeling like I have any right to proselytize my ideas … But, just know that inside, if you want to hear my ideas, I really, Really, REALLY want to share them with you!
Anyhoo, as soon as I started thinking I might share them, my "inner roommate" chimes in:
“Who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t know shit! These may be good enough for you, but what makes you think they’re good enough for other people?!”
Yeah, she can be pretty… um, well… ruthless, to be honest.
So I tried to calm her, because, I get it … she’s scared, ya know? And so I said, “Ok, let’s ask the universe for a sign. Let’s energetically just put it out there and see if we can get the official okey-dokey from the universe.” She agreed ... hesitantly…
Then I got 3 signs really quickly – the first one within an hour of asking. They are quotes and articles that I just ran across either via email or the internet while doing something unrelated.
So, my immediate response was "Day-um, universe! Thanks for being so speedy!"
My roommate was not buying it. She decided to point out that the only thing these so-called “signs” really say is that my affirmations are indeed NOT GOOD. I started to lose faith because, dammit, she had a point, but, I made a note of all of them anyway…
Within the next few weeks, I got a few more, the most notable being…
There were several others, which I won’t go into, and, to be honest some of them were less obvious (but, shhh, don't tell my roommate that!), but I decided that I would make a tic mark whenever I felt anything was a sign. And over a period of about 3 months, I added 24 more tic marks!! 24!!
And here’s the abso-fucking-lutely crazy-ass part …. My roommate still thinks that isn’t enough. And the only reason that I feel confident that she is bat-shit crazy is because I wrote them down! If I hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be able to see with my own eyes that they really did happen, I would have totally believed her and probably stopped.
Now, I should admit here, that I don’t know if I really believe in “signs from the universe.” Part of me wants to believe in them, but I’m dubious (or maybe that’s just my roommate … sometimes it’s hard to tell).
What I do suspect is that I already know what I should do, but I just don’t have the confidence to just fucking do it without getting some kind of outside confirmation to convince my roommate that it’s ok (see point #3 at the beginning of this post). So maybe I subconsciously seek out these "signs." In either case, I don't think it really matters. And maybe, just maybe someday, I won’t need to ask for signs anymore. Wouldn't that be something?!
Anyhoo, if you’re like me and you need those signs too, what I want to share with you today is this: Write that shit down! Trust it! Don’t let your roommate's fear stop you from doing something you feel strongly about. Just, keep fucking going….
And Welcome to the website/blog! I’m so happy to have you here! xoxo