Things are working out just the way they are supposed to! I know this even if it doesn’t always seem that way.
When we’re working on ourselves, we can often feel frustrated with our apparent lack of progress. We say, “Why do I keep doing (insert unwanted behavior here) or feeling (insert unwanted emotion here)?” This, of course, leads to beating ourselves up, which makes us feel even worse… and then here comes the fucking spiral … Ugh!
Whenever I’m feeling this way, I think of Caesar Milan, the dog trainer from the TV show called, The Dog Whisperer. On the show, people ask for his help in working through their dog’s unwanted behavior. During his visit with the family, the dog will invariably start doing the behavior that they are unhappy with. The families are very often embarrassed, saying, “I’m so sorry.” To that, he replies, “This is good. We want this.” He’s basically saying, how can we work on a problem if it doesn’t show itself?
I like to think, whenever unwanted shit pops up, it is revealing itself so that it can be dealt with. If I can feel gratitude for it showing up, it changes my perspective immediately. And even a tiny bit of gratitude can stop a good downward spiral in its tracks!
So, when that shit pops up, instead of beating yourself up, try saying something like, “This is good. I want this. Now I can work on this, release it and move the fuck on!”
I’m not gonna lie, sometimes you’ll have to say this through gritted teeth, but don’t beat yourself up about it; it’s a process … and you’re exactly where you need to be.
Spiral level: Meh, Pretty Darn Good
Use when feeling: down on self, frustrated, pissed