It’s ok to let myself be happy.
Often, when I’m in the lower spiral, I can become too comfortable in my unhappiness. It’s just so damn familiar, like an old shoe. I can slip it on without even thinking. But, if I’m honest, those old shoes are constantly getting my feet wet, and the lack of support is really affecting my back, and, um … they kind of smell.
Now believe me, I’m not trying to make light of whatever might be going down in your life. I know that shit happens that is just fucking depressing. But, if this has been going on for a while, I’m just suggesting you look for another shoe every once in a while (ok, that’s the last shoe analogy, I swear!).
In Bronnie Ware’s book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying,” she states that one of the most common regrets is that people wish they had let themselves be happier. Are you letting yourself be happy? If you suspect you’re not, here are two key things you can do:
1. When your inner roommate chimes in, don’t give him center stage and don’t believe the shit he says. You are not a victim – you can control the way you look at yourself. It’s not always easy, but it is possible.
2. When good shit happens, make THAT center stage. Enjoy it fully, and, PS, you don’t have to feel guilty about it!
If this is happening for you, please don’t judge yourself. I’m asking you to look at yourself with a discerning eye, yes, but one that is also gentle and compassionate. Sometimes it’s a simple shift in perspective – sometimes you need more help with counseling. No matter what, know that you deserve to let yourself be happy ... you deserve better.
Besides, everyone likes new shoes… (sorry, I couldn’t help myself…)
Spiral level: Really low, pretty shitty, general malaise
Use when feeling: frustrated, sad, lethargy, ongoing sadness