Updated: Apr 1, 2021


“I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” - Stuart Smalley/Al Franken

Action Plan:

I don’t know about you, but I often feel like an outsider in the world – not really quite fitting in anywhere. Worse than that, sometimes I even feel like an outsider amongst my friends. It can seem like I’m the one in the group that everyone can pretty much do without. For me, this can be a real jumping off point to a downward spiral. My thoughts start out, “I mean, if even my friends (or family) don’t want to be around me, then…” Imma stop that right there – we will NOT be spiraling down today.

So, when I start feeling this way, I think about this quote from Ringo Starr of the Beatles:

“I left because I felt…that the other three were really happy and I was an outsider. I went to see John…I said, ‘I’m leaving the group because I’m not playing well and I feel unloved and out of it, and you three are really close.’ And John said, ‘I thought it was you three!’ So then I went over to Paul’s … And Paul said, ‘I thought it was you three!’ I didn’t even bother going to George then. I said, ‘I’m going on holiday.’”

When we see ourselves as different from others or as an outsider or as less important or included or whatever, just remember that everyone feels that way sometimes, which is one of the many things that makes us all alike.

So, first, if this happens to you, check in with your friends; make sure there’s not something that went down that you’re unaware of. Tell them you love them. And, tell the roommate in your head to stop making up these fucking stories! Then… maybe go on holiday!

Spiral level: ALL

Use when feeling: down on self, frustrated, pissed, sad