Updated: May 21, 2021
I don’t have to be perfect to be confident.
I don’t know about you, but I struggle with self-confidence. So, of course, I’ve been researching it and what I’ve discovered is that there are some people who are almost inexplicably confident. I mean, they think they’re the bee’s knees and, not to be mean or anything, but they’re not really exceptional. Conversely, some people have zero confidence and they are TheBomb.com! Conclusion #1, one doesn’t have to be great to be confident! Isn’t that a relief?!
I also discovered something called Negative Bias. It basically says that we humans tend to concentrate on the bad and overlook the good. I’m sure this is no surprise, but I’ll give you an example:
I have been sending these affirmations to friends to give me feedback to make sure they are understandable and helpful. I have been making notes every time they told me that there was something I needed to fix. But I never took notes when they said things like, “I felt inspired and lifted,” “This was so impactful,” “I felt so much better that I cried – good tears!” In fact, in my desire to fix what was wrong, I all but ignored the good notes. And when read them just now, I was in tears – good tears!
It made me wonder how much my confidence would improve if I really paid attention to and believed all of the good shit I’ve heard and ignored over the years. Hell, I’d probably be one of those inexplicably confident people! And I’m kind of ok with that! Well, maybe not totally, but being a little more confident would be nice.
So, today, notice if you’re letting your negative bias rule your world. Be cognizant of the good things people say about you – about the good things you feel about yourself! Write them down. Believe them. Maybe you’ll find out you were TheBomb.com all along and didn’t even know it! I have a sneaking suspicion you are…
Spiral level: Meh and up
Use when feeling: down on self, conflicted, expectant