Updated: May 19, 2021
As corny as it sounds, the most important thing I can do for myself (and the world) is to believe in myself … no matter what.
So … I really got stuck on this one. In fact, it sent me into a downward spiral for a few days. You know why? Because I DON’T always believe in myself. Not intrinsically anyway. If things are going well and people are CONSTANTLY telling me how great I am, then I can sort of get there. But if things aren’t going well, or if they’re just ok – or if I think about it too much like I did with this affirmation, well, let’s just say that this is a huge area of growth for me. So, I spiraled down because I thought, “If I don’t know how to do it, what fucking business do I have telling you?”
Then I realized that this is what these affirmations are all about … it’s the reason I wrote them, it’s the reason I share them. This is the work, the practice ... to find ways to keep believing in ourselves. So, while I didn’t intend to make this one a summary of things that I've been encouraging, well … here we are, it kind of looks like that's what it is...
So if you struggle with this as well, just keep on … keepin’ on. Keep up the practice. Keep building on yourself every day. To help you do this when times are hard, here’s the summary:
1. Love yourself. This is THE most important thing. Even when you’ve fucked up royally and are totally pissed at yourself … just love yourself … always … no matter what.
2. Talk kindly to yourself. Tell the roommate in your head to shut the fuck up if she’s saying bad shit about you! Don’t believe everything you think. While your thoughts can’t always be changed, you can stop believing them. In fact, say nice things to yourself constantly. I mean it – EVERY FUCKING DAY! And while we’re at it, believe it when people say nice things to you. They mean it!
3. Be Grateful. Pay attention to your many good qualities and be grateful for them. Appreciate all that you do and all that you are. Celebrate your quirks and for the love of all that’s holy, celebrate your victories. You deserve it. Be grateful for the good things in your life – notice them – savor them. Be grateful for the people who bring you joy - thank them and tell them you love them.
4. Stop judging yourself. Do the best you can every day. Sometimes you’ll suck, sometimes you’ll be on fire! Give yourself a break. Don’t be so hard on yourself – don’t ruminate on what’s wrong with you, or what you “should be” doing, or how you “should be” or what’s missing or what you did wrong. You’re so much better than your inner critic says.
5. Forgive yourself. If you make a mistake, say, “Ok, I totally fucked that up.” Then do your best to make it right if you can, learn from it and move the fuck on. You’re human – you will make mistakes, you aren’t perfect – that’s ok. You’re ok.
6. Feel whatever you’re feeling and work through your shit! Write things down. Research things. See how other people have gotten through what you’re going through. See a therapist or counselor. I honestly believe that most of the world’s woes could be fixed if we all saw a counselor on a regular basis. Why in the actual fuck don’t we value mental health as much as we value physical health? Just sayin’…
7. Be present and aware. Be conscious of your actions and try to stay in the moment rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future. Be. Here. Now.
8. Contemplate grandiose ideas. Think about things that are bigger than you – than all of us. Meditate, be mindful, take time to understand and cultivate your spirituality. Marvel, wonder, be awed…
9. Take care of yourself. Sleep and eat well, exercise, don’t over-indulge in vices, relax, chill, play, laugh!
In the end, you are THE most essential person in your life. It’s not your mom or your spouse or your children – you’re the one, baby! It behooves you to be your biggest cheerleader and not your biggest critic; to love and take care of yourself. You are lovable and unique and amazing! Own it! Believe it … believe in you.
Spiral level: All
Use when feeling: unsure, down on self, indifferent, encouraged, inspired