All I can do is what I can do. No one expects me to take care of everything (except for maybe me).

Action Plan:

One day I read this quote from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo:

"Atlas wasn't forced to hold up the world.

He was convinced that if he didn't, the world would fall."

And the first word that came into my brain was, “But….”

Yeah… then I knew I had a problem... “Hi, my name is Nancy and I’m a recovering control freak.”

For some of us, it’s very difficult to believe that we don’t have to do everything. We’re good at shit. We like doing things. We like helping people. But sometimes, we can take it to an extreme, and that’s when it’s unhealthy for all of us – most especially ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok with you helping people. I think it’s great! You are a freaking ROCK STAR!! Don’t lose that part of you. I just want you to be conscious of it by asking yourself some tough questions:

- Am I trying to control something I can’t control?

- Am I doing it solely to gain favor/achieve status/get approval or because I feel guilty or feel I must do it to be loved?

- Is this a problem that has already been dealt with but someone is trying to manipulate me into doing it differently or to do more? - Is this something that I could easily allow someone else to handle?

Is the answer to any of these questions “Yes” (and be honest with yourself)? If so, first, don’t judge yourself, in fact, BRAVO for being real; and second … say “no.” You don’t have to do everything. And I can already feel you thinking, “But…” Trust me, I get it … and this is true. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Spiral level: Really low, Pretty, Shitty, General Malaise

Use when Feeling: frustrated, overwhelmed, family shit, down on self